


'tis the season to... get spoopy

by catpoop



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - where theyre happy..., Cohabitation, Drabble, M/M, Piercings, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-06 03:05:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16380227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catpoop/pseuds/catpoop
Summary: Eiji is either hallucinating or going blind. Or maybe Shorter really did replace his nipples with...something?





	'tis the season to... get spoopy

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this in one sitting bc Yeah

Eiji doesn’t make it a habit to look at people’s… chest areas, so it is entirely by accident that he glances at Shorter walking by where he’s sitting on the couch and notices – 

“Shorter… what are _those_?” He tries gesturing inconspicuously, and Shorter immediately grins.

“Whaddya mean, Eiji? These are just my quality, organically-grown nips.”

Eiji squints. “…Alright.” He goes back to his book when Shorter suddenly yells:

“Surprise!” Eiji looks up, blanching when he realises Shorter has pulled his shirt up to his chin to reveal a pair of strange orange _ornaments_. “They’re pumpkins, because it’s October today.”

“Uh-huh,” Eiji nods cautiously, trying not to stiffen as Shorter walks towards him. Upon closer inspection, he realises there are two enamel pumpkins grinning back at him, each hanging from a silver barbell. They’re… kind of cute, actually. “Have you shown Ash?”

“I was actually thinking about whipping them out when we’re in the dark sometime, just to see him piss his pants, but yeah, we can grab him.”

“ASH!” Eiji calls in the vague direction of all three of the open doorways, and he hears a grumbled reply after a moment.

“What?”

“I have a surprise to show you!”

He hears footsteps a moment later, and Ash bursts into the room with a hopeful expression on his face. “Yes?”

“TA-DA!” Shorter yells in reply, sharply turning around to face Ash. The twin pumpkins rattle on their chains. 

Eiji feels a _little_ bad when the expression on Ash’s face immediately morphs into one of disgust, but chuckles when Shorter laughs loudly.

“Jesus _Christ_ , why would you do that to yourself?” Ash sounds a little ill.

“Because it’s the season to get spooky. Obviously.” Shorter still hasn’t pulled his shirt back down.

Ash pinches the bridge of his nose, lets out a long-suffering sigh, and walks away as if to get away from Shorter and everything he stands for. It doesn’t work, because he instead takes a seat next to Eiji, collapsing on the couch to let out a pained groan. Shorter turns around to look at them, before finally letting his shirt fall back down.

“I think they’re kind of cute,” Eiji admits after a lull in the conversation, where Ash only continues to make distraught noises.

“Not you too!”

“Yeah, dude,” Shorter nods sagely. “Just accept the truth – why have nipples if they don’t have pumpkins on them?”

“I’d rather amputate them. Eiji, back me up here. Go amputate Shorter’s nipples before I have to remember they exist.”

Eiji shrugs. “I think they’re very nice.”

“Ugh!” Ash slides halfway down the couch to collapse in a groaning mess on Eiji’s lap before tumbling fully onto the floor. “I hate this household. You guys are the _worst_.” Picking himself up, he stomps back out the way he came.

“But who’s the one who finishes off all the Halloween food every year?”

Eiji laughs.

 

A week later, Eiji is interrupted from his studying by a traumatised-looking Ash. He waves a pale shaky finger in the direction of the bathroom.

“ _Fuck._ Fuck! I just walked in on Shorter taking a leak and… I think he has an eggplant on his dick.”

“Eggplant?”

“Piercing. Yes. No, I don’t _think_ – I know, because he made a big deal of pointing it out when he realised I saw.” Ash trembles.

“Does it match his hair?”

“Yes, but _that’s_ not the point here!” Ash looks a second away from weeping. “I deserve better friends… Eiji, pity me.”

He pats at Ash’s tousled hair, holding back a smile. “I pity you, and your life is unfair, and you need better friends.”

“…Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> would link my tumblr + twitter but im lazy so


End file.
